Monday, February 19, 2007

From the 'You Couldn't Make It Up' department

Thanks to Toffee Squares & Major Look for this article, taken from Private Eye, via Derek N. Hartley, via the Otago Daily Times, 18-19/11/06. Disclaimer: Sensitive cat-lovers might find the third paragraph distressing. Less sensitive readers might find themselves laughing so hard that food comes out of their nostrils...

When the constable arrived at the house, Detective Inspector Bernie Hollewand told a press conference in Auckland, he found a heated domestic dispute taking place between a husband, his wife, and their teenage son.

After remonstrations with the couple proved futile, he decided to use his Taser weapon to disable the man. But unfortunately these electronic stun guns are still in the trial stages among frontline police in Auckland and Wellington.

His first 50,000 volt shot from the Taser missed the husband and hit the cat, killing it outright. The second hit the teenage son, knocking him to the ground. A further shot also missed the target, and when the constable tried to remove the Taser's spent cartridges, he forgot to wait for the five-second discharge cycle to complete, and inadvertently blasted himself with another 50,000 volts.

When he had recovered and reloaded, he fired two further shots, both of which hit the ceiling. At this point he abandoned the Taser, and took out his pepper spray in another attempt to disable the husband.

Unfortunately, this also missed its target, and instead hit the couple's twenty one-year-old daughter who had just entered the room.

Luckily, at this point the husband decided to give himself up, and an arrest was made.


Antony Billington said...

Excellent! Sounds like it ought to be a scene in a Naked Gun movie...

Anonymous said...

wtf is this a joke? that cop should be fired. How incompetent does a person have to be to miss that many times. If the cop isn't incompetent then he's an ass.